OMGosh, I am so excited for today!
We get to ask author Sara Horn a few questions!
As you may know I was chosen to be part of Sara Horn’s “street team” for her new book that was just released August 1st, titled My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife! It has been so much fun to be part of such a great group of ladies, discussing biblical submission!
I love Sara’s book ‘My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife‘, it is a perfect sequel to ‘My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife‘. She lets us into her life, and bares her heart as she journals what she learned during her year long experiment. Submission can be a touchy subject. I like how ‘My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife’ isn’t a “how-to” book, but more of a “I’m your sister and I struggle, too – let me share what I learned, and where I failed – with you” book. :) There is nothing I like more than knowing I am not the only one. And Sara is so real – she shares her thoughts, struggles, and triumphs, just like a true friend would. I found myself laughing and crying right along with her in the book.
I have read quite a few of Sara’s books, with ‘God Strong’ being the first. I was new to military life, alone, living on post, going through our first deployment. I made an uncharacteristic purchase, and God used that special lady to reach out to me and invite me to a Bible Study at her house. The book? ‘God Strong’ by Sara Horn. I think that book will always hold a special place in my heart.
Sara so graciously answered a few of my questions. I hope you are blessed by her as much as I have been!
Sadie: Since ‘God Strong’ spoke to me first, I want to ask you some milspouse questions. First, what is your favorite aspect of being a military spouse?
Sara: Hi Sadie! As the wife of a Seabee who has been in the Navy Reserves for 17 YEARS NOW – wow, that sounds old, lol – and we just started our third deployment in six years – I would have to say that my favorite aspect of being a military spouse is first, that I have learned never to take my man for granted, or my marriage. In our case, absences have definitely made the heart grow fonder, and wow, when my husband is home, I try to remember to treasure that time, even when he’s driving me crazy about something. :)
My second favorite (if I can have one??) is the community we find among military spouses. I started a military wives ministry, Wives of Faith, back in 2006 because we were living in Nashville at the time and I knew no other military spouses, and fast-forward to today, and the friendships I have with other military spouses, all over the country and the world – it’s such a blessing to have women in your life who know not just to pray for you, but how to pray for you, too.
Sadie: Second, as someone whose goal is to be submissive and a “Proverbs 31 woman”, who is ALSO a military spouse, what do you think is the best way to show submission to your hero hubby? I know as an Army wife, I frequently “do it all”, even when he is home!
Sara: Yes, it’s hard, sometimes, isn’t it? I think for me, showing submission to my husband, is showing him respect and loving him the way God calls me to love him. Yes, practically speaking, as military wives, we often get the lions share and then some of the work around the house and with the kids and sometimes even helping our husbands with details for their jobs and wow, if we sit down and look at it all, we can get overwhelmed and maybe even start having thoughts of “this is so not fair!”.
I think for military spouses, especially, it’s all in our attitudes and in our hearts. How often do we treat our husbands with kindness the way we might treat someone we know at church or we run into at a social event? biblical submission does not call us to be doormats, or to put duct tape across our mouths and never say anything or act like robots. If we treat our husbands like the leaders we want them to be of our homes, I believe they’ll learn to lead and be more willing to. But if we only treat them like one of our kids, or an ATM, or like a silent investor, I think we set ourselves up for trouble and for problems. We are their partners, we are their second in command, so to speak. That requires good communication, learning to ask questions and being willing to wait. (That last one is a hard one for me sometimes!)
I write about this in the book, but I saw a big change in my husband when I was willing to step back a little and let him have room to make more decisions or just have more input on things. And I realized that as much as I desired for him to lead our family, a lot of times, I was actually standing in his way because it was so easy and so tempting to try and handle everything. Loving my husband God’s way over my own has helped so much.
Sadie: In the area of biblical submission, I personally struggle the most with how to know when to speak up and when to stay quiet. For example, to this day I regret not saying something during a life altering decision. What tips can you offer in deciphering when it is right to “speak your mind” (not nagging) and when to be silent as you strive for biblical submission in your marriage?
Sara: I actually touched on this the other day on my Facebook page. We can apply the tree E’s when we’re dealing with a question like this and ask ourselves some questions –
1. How can I Encourage him? Sometimes our husbands get stuck on one aspect of a decision and they may not see the whole picture. Look for ways to encourage him – “I know this is a big decision. Have you thought about ——–?”
2. How can I Edit myself? There ARE times when to speak and there ARE times we shouldn’t say something, especially when we want to say, “I told you so”, “if you’d only listened to me”, or other not helpful statements. Our husbands need to hear our wisdom and our perspective, but we need to offer it in a way that they will hear it. So edit yourself and the words you use. Bite your tongue if you have to. Say what your husband needs to hear, as opposed to what you’d like to unload (maybe from your own stress and anxiety that’s building up).
3. How can I Edify my husband? I have heard so many stories from pastors who have shared in sermons over the years how their wives helped them make an important decision or see a different perspective they were missing. If those women hadn’t spoken up, their husbands could have hurt their families or their ministries or just others in general. We can and should edify our husbands – encouraging them with what we know is right, from what God’s Word says (but without beating them over the head with the Bible in the process). 1 Peter 3 tells us that husbands can be won over even without us speaking when they see us living out God’s love in the every day.
Sadie: I love to read. A lot. I have had a 7’ tall bookshelf full of books since I was in high school. Besides the Bible and your own awesome books, what is your favorite book to read?
Sara: Wow, that’s a hard one. I love books, will buy them at the drop of a hat (or a FB post) but I’ll admit that I am bad at finding time to sit down to read (at least finish). I read mainly nonfiction, though when I was a kid, I loved Nancy Drew mysteries. I have a combination of two packed bookcases and all the books on my Kindle/iPad. One of my favorites I would have to say is ‘Character Counts’ by Os Guiness, though I have a few of his older titles. Read it many years ago and it’s a case study of different leaders like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. That one has always stuck with me. Only just read ‘Bird by Bird’ by Anne Lamott within the last couple of years. That one also ranks high, as well as ‘Write Tight’ by Willian Brohaugh. I’m a fan of Stormie Omartian – her book ‘Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On’, was a beautiful book that I really enjoyed. Jim Cymbala’s ‘Fresh Wind Fresh Fire’ is also a favorite. Sorry, really hard to nail down just one! :)
Sadie: Here’s one last one… has nothing to do with the military or submission but here goes: What is your favorite “guilty pleasure”?
Sara: My favorite guilty pleasure – I have become a series binger! Aack! Hulu Plus and Amazon Instant Video have ruined me – I don’t watch regular tv anymore. It started when my brother-in-law let us borrow all three seasons of Veronica Mars which I never saw when it was on television. And since then, I’ve watched the entrie first season of 24, caught up on Covert Affairs (how weird was it that the same actress who ended up being a bad girl with a twist on the first season of 24 also ended up being a bad girl with a twist in season 3 of Covert Affairs??), and I just finished all five seasons of Friday Night Lights which took me a few months. Those characters had a profound impact on me. I don’t watch tv when I’m working on a book so it maybe be awhile before I start another series, but that is definitely my little guilty pleasure! :)
Sara, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be with us today! I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing and letting us into your lives and heart! I know first hand you have touched and blessed the lives of many women!
Soo… who doesn’t like a giveaway?! :) Would you like your own copy of Sara’s new book??
Follow this blog and/or ‘like’ Cottage & Hen on facebook AND share this blog post with your friends on fb, twitter or pinterest. Comment and let me know where you shared it for a chance to win this amazing book!
*Giveaway closes at 11:59pm CST on August 16. Winner will be announced on August 19th.
Don’t forget to follow Sara Horn at her website, blog, facebook page, and twitter! She has been posting all kinds of interesting blog posts (with more chances to win her new book!); you don’t want to miss out!